Saturday, February 27, 2016

Taking a toll on marriage

Yes. That explains exactly what's going on right now. I really would like to understand my husband right now (for acting like another autistic in the family) but not in this current struggle in accepting and trying to make sure i give everything for our son. 

Everything is new and yet to sink in you see and I am struggling. I also have my need to be undertstood and I need help. It's very frustrating when you are all effort reading the book and cutting pictures and you see him lying in bed and watching TV. 

It would've been okay if I'm not working but I am. I also bring bread to the table and we are splitting almost all cost in the house. So he have no right to tell me that he is tired or sick and all as I am too. But I'm trying to be strong for our son.

I'm just venting out. This post is far from the autism topic but definitely related.


Friday, February 26, 2016

More than words by Fern Sussman

So after all the research I did over the internet, I decided to buy some few books that would help me guide my Zeddy in his ASD journey.

One of them is More than Words by Fern Sussman. The Child Dev doctor actually recommended this book and the internet moms are also suggesting that this is a good book to start with.

I'm halfway through the book and it is awesome so far.

It made me understand what exactly is ASD. It made me understand about their sensory issues reason why they do those weird stuff like lining up things, flapping their hands or running and jumping non-stop. I also understood Zeddy's current level of communication which helps in applying the correct approach of teaching and playing with him to interact more with us.

The book focuses on communication and socialization which is the main challenge of ASD kids. Don't expect it to tell you other things like how to calm your child during meltdowns or how to read their minds. But you can learn how to communicate with them so they can respond to your questions and tell you what they want and how they're feeling.

I realized today that my Zeddy is in the Requestor stage so for us to move on the next level, we need to implement Picture Exchange Communication System. Today I bought some magnetic sheets and planning to stick them at our doors and other places he could easily see to use it instead of the gestures.

Also, I need to be very very patient if Zeddy's progress won't be that quick because that's the thing about ASD, they have delays.

I'm kind of becoming obsessed in doing the home therapy with him. Hehehe. Mommy's love I guess. 

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Overwhelming autism info on internet

Started my research on materials about autism and information is overwhelming! Lots of books and programs and therapies and jargons to choose and read and it makes me dizzy. Nevertheless this is just the beginning of my journey with Zeddy. Learned about Son-Rise program, BOLD program, ABA, GAPS diet, among other things but I guess I'll stick to More than words by Fern Sussman for now as its both recommended by Zeds doctor and some parents in blogs. They also made comparison with other books. I'll tell you about it how effective it is. 

By the way, I'm writing this blog while in the bus standing as it's full on my way home from office. 

Monday, February 22, 2016

What is stimming?

http://themighty.com/2016/01/11-people-with-autism-explain-what-stimming-feels-like/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Mighty_Page&utm_campaign=AUTISM

Temple Grandin - thoughts on Autism

http://www.salon.com/2013/05/18/temple_grandin_on_dsm_5_sounds_like_diagnosis_by_committee/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

Sensory Diet

Pinning this in case is gets handy in the future.

Sensory Diets
Helping the child feel calm, alert, and organized
Autism is a neurological condition that often leaves the nervous system out of sync with the environment around it. This is very evident in the difficulties the nervous system has in processing sensory input. As discussed earlier there are a host of difficulties that this condition can present to the individual. Since the nervous system has difficulty processing sensory information effectively, it is often left agitated, disorganized, and overwhelmed. As mentioned above, the child (and adult) often has a hard time regulating the amount and intensity of stimulation to keep the nervous system calm, organized and focused. They can be under-aroused and sluggish one moment, and overwhelmed and anxious the next. Because of this problem balancing what the nervous system needs, Occupational Therapists trained in sensory processing disorders often develop sensory diets to calm and organize the nervous system to keep it within the optimum range of arousal.
A sensory diet is a carefully scheduled routine of sensory activities, given throughout the day, to help keep the nervous system calm, organized and focused. It is a carefully balanced set of sensory activities that are implemented periodically throughout the day to keep the nervous system within the optimal range of arousal. This lowers anxiety, increases focus, and maximizes the child’s ability to learn and adapt to daily demands. Usually the sensory diet is a set of activities to calm and organize the nervous system when over-aroused, and alert the nervous system when under-aroused. When the child is over-aroused, calming and organizing activities are given to stabilize the nervous system. When the child is under-aroused, alerting activities are given to increase the arousal level. Once the nervous system is in the optimal range of arousal, then a steady dose of organizing stimulation can maintain that state of readiness.
In designing a sensory diet, as part of the evaluation the occupational therapist will develop an inventory of sensory preferences and sensitivities that designs a sensory profile for the child. The sensory inventory and profile may look like the one in appendix A. From this profile the therapist identifies what stimulation calms the child (e.g. deep pressure, slow rocking, etc.), what stimulation alerts the child (e.g. jumping, swinging, chewing crunchy snacks), what stimulation the child seeks out (preferences) and what he avoids (sensitivities). From developing this profile the therapist can design a schedule of activities into the child’s daily routine that will calm and organize the nervous system. Often a set of activities are recommended to be used on a set schedule each day (frequently every couple of hours) as standard practice to keep the child organized, and then provide either calming or alerting activities as needed based on the child’s arousal level. Although a thorough discussion on sensory diets is beyond the scope of this book, some of the general sensory activities are listed as follows.
General Calming Activities
• Deep pressure massage
• Sitting on bean bags, large body pillow.
• Sandwiching, pillow press.
• Lap pads
• Deep pressure or weighted vest.
• Bear hugs, neutral warmth.
• Slow rocking
• Lotion rubs
• Soft lighting
• Soft, slow music.
• Joint compressions
• Stretching
• Chew gum
• Sucking
• Fidget toys
• Calm, rhythmic movement patterns.
General Alerting Activities
• Brisk rubbing.
• Tickling.
• Chewing gum, chewy food.
• Any push/pull, run, skip, jump, heavy lifting.
• Fast, irregular movement (swing, trampoline, therapy ball).
• Kick, bounce, and throw a ball.
• Strong tastes and odors (peppermint, perfumes).
• Bright lighting.
• Loud, fast music
• Cold water play.
• Fidget toys.
• Drinking carbonated drinks.
• Sitting on T-stool or air cushion.
• Physical exercise.
• Dancing
This series on “sensory issues” can be found in the blue book, “Autism Discussion Page on the Core Challenges of Autism.”

Sunday, February 21, 2016

May God give me strength

And the perseverance to deliver my work at the same time be the best mom to my son. 

I'm hoping that He'll grant me control on things that's unneccesary like procrastinating for example. And being a what they considered "normal" as I am, I hope He'll grant me wisdom and control to stop myself from wasting my time stalking people and comparing my life to theirs.

This I all ask in Jesus name. Amen.

Some links for my Zeddy when he grow up

This could help him understand himself better in the future. I want him to live happily and be accepted as who he is, like this lady.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Misdiagnosis

I do believe that human as we are, we are bound to make mistakes.

So that being said, I did not agree to let my Zeddy undergo a full diagnosis where they take him to a room and play and what not to know where he is in the spectrum. It is my choice. Condemn me all you want but we are all entitled in making choices. Even the doctor told me that.

But to be fair I wanted to make sure that he gets all the help he needs so I did ask what we will be missing if we opt not to let him get diagnosed and she said NOTHING at this point in time because EIPs accepts without diagnosis.

That's it my friends. Maybe as long as Zeddy is still compliant and won't throw very wild tantrums or meltdowns as they call it and can communicate to us what he wants, he will be regarded as a normal little boy which he is as of the moment. We have not experienced any meltdown yet and hopefully not in the near future.

Rest assured, he will be attending EIP (Early Intervention Program) to work on his speech delay coz right now, he's non-verbal and he communicates to us through gestures. Such a sweet and cute and adorable little guy.

Nevertheless, I'm ready-ing my body, mind and soul for those "meltdowns" if it happens. I need to be strong physically and emotionally to deal with it.

I'll let you know how it progress.

For now, I'm off to work on some reports for work.

Oh yeah, I'm work full time and I'm an IT consultant during the day. I also enjoy baking. haha.

My reaction the first time we met the psychologist

I wrote about this on my other blog. Let me copy it here.

By the way, pardon my grammar and grammar nazi's you have no room here! I write whatever my mind is telling me and I don't care what you think. lol

17 May 2015

Nightmare in broad daylight

I know. I only remember updating this blog when I’m feeling sad or down or blue. Yes, the negative of things. But this is exactly what this blog is for and it’s therapeutic for me. So to those who are up to anything happy and light - do yourself a favor by unfollowing me as this blog is the exact opposite.
Alright. I still have my usual struggle with work and life but there’s a new addition to the challenge - my little precious Zeddy. I noticed lately that he’s behind in his developmental milestones and been asking a lot of people about it and was told that kids develop in different rates etc etc. But there’s just something I notice that’s different. Mother’s instinct they call it. So I insisted to have him checked by a Child Dev Psych and was told that though they can’t make diagnosis for now but my little previous Zeddy inhibits ASD symptoms.
So what are the negative and positive signs? Let me list it down here so I can look back and probably help someone in the future who happens to be in the same dilemma as me. POSITIVES: Plays peek-a-boo. Give you the remote when he want to watch TV. Says “mamam” when he wants to eat or drink. Ask for help by giving you the thing/toy when he can’t do it his own (i.e opening the snack container). Babbles. Pretend to read book by turning pages and babbling. Can point to fruits and numbers in chart. Turns head when we say “Mummy’s coming!”. Smiles when he see’s me sometimes. NEGATIVES: Prefers to watch TV a lot. Cries when TV is turned off. Very little eye contact. Does not wave byebye. Use to do it when younger but lost it. Does not respond to his name. Not talking a single word at 21mos. Likes turning wheels and watching fan turning. Like’s to turn toys instead of playing them as they are. Tiptoes when walking at times. Does not play with other kids. Does not pretend play. Cannot follow instructions.
That my friends, is what’s keeping me up each night. It’s not that I can’t accept the possibility, it’s because I’m given a blurred answer to the ultimate question that left me hanging and deciphering what exactly is going on with my son. Is he just delayed? Or there’re really something wrong?
When i see some positive signs that he’s not, it elates and calm my nerves somehow. But when night comes and I recall what we did that day, those wandering eyes of him not looking at me when I talk and those selective hearing that doesn’t listen when I call - drives me insane literally. I love my Zeddy more than anything. That’s why It breaks my heart thinking of the possibilities. It’s hard you know.
We are doing what’s best. We have sign up for Occupational Therapy and Early Intervention and put him in playgroup. It’s gonna cost us a bomb but I dont care. We’ll update you later on the outcome. Our next appointment will be in 9 months time. Keep you guys posted.


How it started.

It all started when he was 18 months and still not talking.

I got worried. Mother's instinct is telling something is amiss, not normal. So I went ahead and asked my husband that we check with a psychologist and was told that my dear precious little Zeddy is showing signs of autism.He was too young to be diagnosed so she asked us to do series of therapies and enroll him early in playgroup.

Fast forward to a year and it's time to do a review. Zeddy still has the signs and is now clinically diagnosed to be in the ASD spectrum. It was devastating news.

Then followed my episodes of denial and crying out loud and crying silently and denial again trying to ponder how could this happen to my son? I followed everything when I pregnant with him and took whatever they say is beneficial to him, and whatever things I can tell myself that it's just not possible.

But, I'm over that. Now I feel nothing but love, love and love for Zeddy. I've been open to my friends and also very lucky to be surrounded with a very supportive family (grannies, husband and nanny) who's willing to work with me on making sure Zeddy gets all he needs.

Fast forward today, I created this blog to document my journey in enjoying a roller coaster life with a very special, loving and affectionate son of mine where I treasure every minute of it.

Enjoy and hope everyone finds this helpful. :)